Graduation season is upon us. As I scroll my Facebook feed, seeing hundreds of smiling faces with diplomas in hand, I can’t help but wonder what they are thinking. Life transitions are like chapters in a book, each marking a significant turning point in our journey. From the exhilarating leap from high school into the vast unknown of adulthood to the triumphant march across the stage at college graduation, these moments shape who we are and who we aspire to become. However, not everyone navigates these transitions with the same level of resilience. Some embrace change with open arms, while others struggle to adapt, highlighting the diverse ways in which individuals perceive and cope with these experiences.
A universal truth: There is no avoiding major life transitions; these defining moments can shake our confidence and shape our lives.
- Graduation
- New relationships
- Job or career change
- Marriage or divorce
- Becoming a parent or the loss of a parent
- Moving to a new city
John C. Maxwell once said, “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” These words ring true during life transitions. For some, these shifts propel them forward, fueling personal and professional growth. They view challenges as opportunities and setbacks as stepping stones. On the contrary, others may find themselves overwhelmed by the uncertainties, struggling to find their footing amidst the shifting tides of life.
How you respond may depend on your control in the transition.
Which transitions are considered positive? High school graduation, for example, is a forced change. You complete the requirements to earn your diploma, and you move on. Forced from the nest of comfort you have known for 13 years. But we all celebrate your success! A new job or a retirement are changes you initiate. Whether you are looking for a new company culture, new responsibilities, or just a change of pace, these changes bring joy and excitement! They are a chance to grow and start fresh. Often, people can’t help but share the joyous news with everyone.
What about those viewed negatively? The loss of a job, whatever the reason, forces us to re-evaluate our career options and professional goals. Ending a relationship that isn’t working, even on our terms, can cause concern or fear of being alone. These transitions are often approached with trepidation and fear. We analyze the situation and blame ourselves, doubting our ability to ‘get it right’ the next time. People retreat inside themselves, hiding from the world during these times.
According to recent surveys by researchers at Pew and Gallup, 65% of people feel anxious about the risks associated with life transitions such as graduation, relationship changes, or career shifts. Yet, 85% also acknowledge that these transitions are essential for personal development and growth. This paradox reflects the dual nature of transitions—they are both daunting and transformative, testing our resilience and shaping our journey toward self-discovery and fulfillment.
Some people are more resilient than others. This can be based on a variety of factors: the development of sound coping strategies, a strong support network both emotionally and financially, confidence in our skills and abilities, previous experience with successful transitions, or just a strong faith that things will work out the way they were meant to be. All serve a unique purpose, and I think I’ve used them all at one point in my life.
I learned at an early age that nothing in life is guaranteed. I grew up in a family that had financial struggles, marital challenges, and a good share of uncertainty. But it always seemed to work out. We were happy kids. While my parents separated for a time, they got back together. And while we lived in rentals for most of my childhood, we always had food, clothes, and a roof over our heads. We learned how to adapt and adjust, making the best of each situation and always counting on each other for support. My parents always said we could become anything we wanted and told us to strive to be the best at whatever that “thing” was. They taught us to have goals and work hard every day toward achieving them.
After high school, I moved to California to follow a lifelong dream of marching in the Santa Clara Vanguard drum and bugle corps. Somehow, without any real plans, I had faith it would all work out. I took entry-level jobs and had a very small bank account. But I paid my bills and had a blast! My parents told me I could do it, giving me the confidence to take such a considerable risk.
Three years later, I went back to Wisconsin to finish college, graduated, got married, and started my first job. Two years later, I changed jobs, looking for career growth, and was fortunate to find a job I loved! I had two kids. Life seemed to be in constant motion, but I had a loving marriage that provided emotional support through the long hours and crazy days. Then, I lost the job I loved due to a downsizing. BOOM! I went from stability to nothing.
I grappled with the next steps and what direction to take. I had given my heart and soul to an organization that cast me aside. I needed to figure out which way to turn. I was desperate, with a family depending on me. I chased a job I knew wasn’t the right fit – I call that my one-week job! But eventually found an opportunity where I gained new skills that turned out to be the perfect preparation for my next position. I should have had more faith – things have a way of working out how they should.
My last career change was my choice. It forced a transition on my whole family. But we embraced the change together. I moved my family to a new city and stepped into a new industry. We agreed that I would “try it,” if it didn’t work, we would move on to something else. Twenty-one years later, I’m still here, doing what I love and working hard to improve the lives of others. But life continued to change. I lost my brother and dad, and my kids moved away, leaving me an empty nester. Nothing stays the same. I’ve heard it said that you grow the most outside of your comfort zone. And that’s where I find myself most days.
John C Maxwell often says, “You have to give up to go up.” He also acknowledges that it is much easier to do when you have little to give up. The more you have to lose, the more complex the decision. Sometimes, though, all you have to give up are the limits you placed on yourself. In Chasing Failure, Ryak Leak challenges us to stop worrying about what could go wrong and start envisioning what it will feel like when it goes right!
Life transitions can make or break us. Having the life you deserve takes confidence, support, and faith. This brings me to Beyonce and her lyrics: “It was everything that I wanted and more than I thought it could be.” Go out and get it.
“The future is always all around us, waiting, in moments of transitions, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain.” – J. Michael Strazynski
Hallway Consulting Group 
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